Beyond The Madding Crowd

Creating Personal Mind-Space

When you think of Personal Space - what springs to mind?

 

Is it the physical space your body occupies?

 

Is it the place where you live?

 

Is it the space in your mind?

 

Whatever you think of as your Personal Space it is yours and yours alone.

 

I would like you to contemplate expanding your awareness of your personal space – particularly the space you can create in your own mind.

 

Mind-Space is unique to you. No-one else shares it or can take it away from you. It is your Personal Power.

 

How to use your Mind-Space:-

 

1.                  Meditation

 

This is the art of clearing the mind of the myriad of thoughts that race through it on a daily basis. Sit or lye somewhere quiet where you know you will not be disturbed. Empty your mind. You can now either focus on one single thought, word or phrase or nothing at all. You can also just fill your mind with a colour – one that exudes calm for you. You can do this for any duration from 5 minutes to an hour or more.

 

2.                  Visualisation

 

This is the art of bringing your hopes and dreams to life within your mind. Sit or lye somewhere quiet where you know you will not be disturbed. Empty your mind of all thoughts and then bring to mind the one thing you want to visualise. This could be a dream holiday, a new job, a new home or almost anything that you are contemplating at the moment. Bring to mind an image of what it is you are seeking, make it big, bright and bold and in full techni-colour. Don’t limit your thoughts or your vision – the more real you make the image the more effective it will be. See yourself in the picture you have created, hear all the sounds around you in the picture, and make it real.

 

Once you have done this once, all subsequent times that you repeat this the easier and quicker it will be to bring yourself back into the moment.

 

You can also link the image with an action e.g. pressing your thumb and forefinger together. If you do this action when you think of the image/vision, then each time you repeat the action then you will automatically be taken to the image in your mind.

 

You can also use this as a de-stress and calming tool.

 

There are other mind-space techniques but these are the two most effective.

 

Try them and see how your mind-space expands!

Getting Enough Sleep!

What are your sleep patterns like?

 

• 6 – 8 hours of uninterrupted deep sleep
• 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep at the most
• Have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom
• No sleep at all – insomnia
• 4 hours of quality sleep

Knowing how irregular my sleep patterns are and what an impact that a bad night can have on the following day, I bought a book by Paul McKenna entitled “I can make you sleep”.

 

So were there any startling revelations in the book – no not really, but it was crammed full of common sense.

 

Some of the recommendations that make the most sense are:

 

• Don’t have caffeine after 2pm (I would suggest cutting it out altogether)
• Cut out alcohol
• Don’t have anything to eat at least 3 hours before going to bed
• Go to bed when you actually feel sleepy
• Take regular exercise
• Ensure your bedroom is dark – even if you use black-out blinds

Paul has a list of 14 suggestions but these are the ones that stuck out for me.

 

As you can see, these are all common sense suggestions – but when you put them all together the cumulative effect is pretty successful.

 

Other personal suggestions that I would propose are:

• Clear your mind before attempting sleep (meditation, journal etc)
• Don’t try and force yourself to sleep as this rarely works
• If you live in a noisy neighbourhood then use earplugs
• If you need to, use an eye mask to ensure complete darkness
• Keep a window open – a good air flow really helps
• Lavender oil on a tissue inside your pillowcase

• Oranges and celery aid calm and assist with sleep patterns
• Reduce spicy foods too close to bed time
• Limit volume of fluids before bed time
• Try not to set the alarm at weekends so that you awaken naturally
• Try using a daylight clock to simulate dawn breaking
• Use a comfortable pillow – depth, softness/hardness to your needs
• Ensure your mattress is comfortable

The other valuable thing about Paul’s book is that it comes with a hypnosis CD – which in essence provides some subliminal suggestions for promoting sleep as well as creating a relaxed state of mind.

 

So, as you can see, there are lots of things you can try if you have trouble sleeping - other than counting sheep or sleeping tablets!

 

 

PS How Nature Intended!

 

Some of you know I keep 2 beautiful parrots (like the ones below - Sun Conures). Birds sleep patterns are governed by light and dark i.e. Awake when it's light and Asleep when it's dark. My birds know that when I turn out the light in their room that it's time for bed, so they make their way to their soft swing, stand on one leg and tuck their head down their back - if only we humans could do it so easily!!!

 

 

 

Just Chilling Out!

Relaxation is as important as work or any other activity that you do.

 

I know that some people view relaxation as being self-indulgence but actually these are the people that would benefit from some personal time the most!

 

So, why should you have some “down-time”?

 

·         YOU are important

·         Looking after yourself means you can look after others better

·         A little bit of “me” times means better quality “us” time

·         Relaxation is one of the most powerful de-stress tools you can use

·         Creating time to reflect on your day or your life is a powerful tool

·         You become more focussed and more effective at what you do

·         You deal with situations in a more balanced way

·         Life is too short to just “work” – play-time is essential to well-being

 

These are just a few of the key reasons you should always plan some “down-time” for yourself.

 

So, how should you go about arranging or planning your “Chill-out Time”?

 

1.      Schedule appointments with yourself – put it in your diary

2.      Keep the appointments! (don’t just pay lip-service to this)

3.      Allow a minimum of 15 – 30 minutes a day (more if you can)

4.      Don’t let anything stop you from having your time – it’s important

5.      Set aside a ½ or whole day a month just for you

6.      Plan what you will do in your “appointment”

7.      Create a list of things you would love to do and then do them

8.      Make your chill-out time special because you are a special person

9.      Find a calm space to be with you – inside or outside – your choice

10. Just do it!

 

My list of “chilling out” things would include:

 

·         Listening to my favourite music

·         Listening to a meditation CD

·         Writing in my journal

·         Walk in a park

·         Sitting in the sunshine with a good book and a green juice

·         Sitting quietly just emptying my mind of all the crazy daily thoughts

·         Watching my two beautiful parrots – automatic de-stress tool

·         Sitting quietly taking long, slow deep breaths – listening to the sound of my breathing

 

So what’s on your list of things you would love to do during your “chilling out” time?

 

Now I know some of you reading this will be saying "When can I fit in “chill-out” time?" I have children to look after; a home to run; a business to run etc.

 

Well, here’s the deal - unless you are on-the-go 24/7 then there is always time to fit in some “chill-out” time – even if it is when you are lying in bed before you go to sleep. You can use this quiet time to your advantage and just clear your mind of all the events of the day and go to sleep relaxed and you will hopefully end up with a better and deeper quality of sleep.

 

So, I urge you to book your “chill-out” time starting today and see what positive changes that makes to your life

 

Here’s to the Chill-Out Zone!

Total Immersion!

Have you ever wondered about the best way to focus on a new subject or learn a new skill or technique?

 

There are four key types of learner:-

• The Theorist
• The Pragmatist
• The Reflector
• The Activist

My preferred personal style is the “Theorist” or as I prefer to call it “Total Immersion”.

 

This is where I try and find out as much about a topic as possible either through books, websites, DVD’s, CD’s etc  - so lots of reading and research.

 

However, this mode of learning can be time consuming and it’s not for everyone – particularly if you like to see results fast.

 

So, what if I were to offer you an opportunity to learn four (4) new skills/ techniques in less than a day – would you be interested?

 

I will be hosting a Virtual Day on Saturday 5^th September entitled “Poised for Power”.

 

During this one day I will be guiding you through four simple but effective techniques covering my favourite topics of:

 

• Personal Time
• Personal Space
• Personal Energy
• Personal Self-Care

You will have the opportunity to explore these topics and discover four (4) highly effective tools to enhance your life around them – all in less than a day.

 

To find out more about my Virtual Day – Poised for Power – just go to the following link: -Poised for Power Virtual Day

 

If you have any questions about the day or the format then just drop me an email to maureen@thecalmcoach.com putting “Poised for Power” in the email subject header.

I look forward to working with you on Saturday 5^th September at my Virtual Day – Poised for Power

Take A Break!

When was the last time you took a break? This could be a short-time away, an annual holiday or just a break away from your computer screen.

 

In today’s fast-paced world we are all driven to work more and play less. This is not a good scenario.

 

You’ll remember the old saying “All work and no play makes Jack (or Jill) a dull boy (girl)” and this is true. However, it will not only make you “dull” and lacking in energy but potentially unwell.

 

So in my opinion, breaks from work are actually vital to your overall health and well-being.

 

Taking a break will:-

 

• Provide you with time to clear your mind
• Provide you with some breathing space
• Allow you to come back refreshed and revived

I know from personal experience that forcing myself to stay working in front of my laptop when I am tired, that I am less productive and unable to really focus on what I am doing.

 

However, if I take a break from the work and do something else, then come back to it then I am able to look at the work with fresh eyes and a clearer mind. I also find that I am able to focus much better.

 

So, how often do you take a break?

 

My suggestions would be:

1. Take a break from your computer or desk about every hour (more often if you can manage it)

2. Use your evenings and days off wisely – don’t take work home

3. Take regular short breaks from work – even just one day here and there

4. Use all your annual holiday from work – you’ve earned it so use it

Work is important, particularly when so many people are now unemployed as a result of the downturn in the financial markets.

 

However, nothing, and I repeat – NOTHING – is more important than your  health.

 

So my challenge to you this week is to use your  time off wisely and take regular breaks throughout the day

De-Cluttering and Storage

Space – the final frontier - or is it?

 

Why is it that our personal space seems to take a back-seat when we are looking to upgrade or improve our lives in any way?

 

For me, the space I occupy has to not only be fit for purpose but also be supportive and welcoming.

 

If you don’t want to be in a particular part of your space then you might like to ask yourself “WHY”.

 

One of the biggest turn-offs from using a space within your home is that it is cluttered or just so full of “stuff” that there is no room for you – either physically or mentally. We all have our “dumping ground” space but if there is so much dumping going on that it has totally taken over the space then it is time to sort it out and do some de-cluttering.

 

It is almost like a spatial detox -- and like most detox work, you will feel lighter and brighter and more in control once the process is complete.

 

So how do you go about detoxing a space in your home?

 

First of all you need to be sure that the space belongs to you – if you are in a shared home (partner, house-mate etc) then you will need to ensure that the other people are happy for you to upgrade the space. To be honest, if you are seen to be volunteering to upgrade a shared space then most people will be really glad that they don’t have to do it themselves.

 

The two activities that will give you the quickest wins and make the greatest impact on your space will be: Storage and De-cluttering.

 

De- Cluttering

 

Storing things away is one thing, and highly effective at clearing space but if all you have done is dump all the junk in the storage boxes then you have just saved up the task of sorting it out for another day.

 

Why not de-clutter first and THEN do the storage. This way you not only have less to store (hopefully) but you will have easier access to the things you want to keep rather than having to wade through all the rubbish every time you are looking for something.

 

So how do you go about de-cluttering?

 

I would be asking myself the following questions:

 

• When was the last time I saw this item
• When was the last time I used this item
• Does it still function?
• Do I still like it
• Do I still need it (be honest)
• Will I ever use it again

If you answered “no” to any of the above then you should be seriously thinking about getting rid of the item in question.

 

Should the item still be in working order or reasonable condition then you can either sell it at a car-boot sale, or on e-bay, or give it to a charity or other worthy cause (friends count in this category).

 

Storage

 

Now that you have de-cluttered you can probably assess more easily just how much you have to store away.

 

Storage comes in various forms including: built-in/fitted cupboards and wardrobes; free-standing cupboards; boxes of all shapes, sizes and colours; shelving (enclosed and open) etc.

 

To make the most of storage it has to:

 

• Be fit for purpose (big enough, strong enough etc)
• Be suitable for the space (size, shape and colour)
• Be easy to access
• Look good

You only have to watch any of the home improvement programmes on the television to get great ideas for storage.

 

Now you may be thinking when am I going to have enough time to do all of this? Actually the question you should be asking yourself is - how much longer can I put up with not being able to use part of my home because it is so cluttered and disorganised and unsupportive.

 

So, clear a space in your diary and make a real event out of this. If you were going to have a facial or massage or other self-care treatment you would find the time so look at this exercise as a bit of self-care for your home. You will end up gaining so much more than just some space back, you will feel much better, lighter, calmer, and in control.

 

Isn’t all of that worthwhile? I think so!

Having Time On Your Side

How much time do you think you “lose” everyday to non-essential tasks or activities?

 

It is estimated that we can “lose” (or not use effectively) up to 2 hours a day through non-essential activities.

 

Do any of the following resonate with you?

 

• Colleagues who come to ask one question and are still there an hour later

 

• Someone tries to derail a meeting to get their own agenda heard thus increasing the time of the meeting

 

• You have to get a report finished but you are persuaded to take a long lunch break to listen to someone’s woe’s

 

• You invite a friend round for morning coffee and they stay till 3pm

 

• You are running late for your next appointment because the previous one went on longer than scheduled

 

• You spend 20 minutes every morning writing your to-do list for the day and then wonder where all the time goes

 

• Your boss expects you to drop everything when they have a question

 

• You have to work late to catch up on the time you have lost during the day

 

You get the idea.

 

Some of the above can be taken care of by you being more forthright about your time and being more protective of it – after all it belongs to you (doesn’t it). However, sometimes you might find yourself in situations that are difficult to get out of without appearing rude or insensitive.

 

So what do you do? – You use your “diary or schedule” as your legitimate way of closing meetings on time, being where you need to be on time and gaining back control of your day.

 

However, if you don’t use a diary or the one you have you don’t use well or is ineffective, then you need to take some action to rectify this.

 

Which diary system should I use?

Paper-based diary

 

This is really useful if you travel around a lot between meetings (e.g. seeing clients) and don’t want the fuss of maintaining an electronic gadget.

 

FiloFax

 

These are useful, they are portable, come in lots of sizes and look business-like. However, you do have to remember to take them with you and keep it updated.

 

Planner Pad

 

This is like a FiloFax on speed – it is really effective not only at scheduling appointments but planning your week and working out which days you will do each task. It is very portable but with all things you do need to keep it up to date.

 

PDA (Personal Digital System)

 

These are useful as long as you keep it up to date at all times. You also need to remember to either upload the data onto your computer or ensure that it is fully charged at all times (otherwise you may lose your data).

 

Email-based System

 

For example Microsoft Outlook which you can use on your desktop. This works well as long as you have constant access to your computer. You can access it remotely as long as your email is accessible remotely. The downside is that it is not portable.

 

Web-Based System

 

These are good again, as long as you have access to a computer. The good thing about these is that they are accessible world-wide – as long as you have access to a computer.  Again these are not very portable.

 

The final decision about which system you want to use will depend on a number of factors:

 

• How portable does your system need to be?
• Do you like technology (portable or otherwise)

 

The bottom line with all of these systems is that in order for them to be effective you have to keep them fully up to date – at all times.

 

I have just started using a Planner Pad and found this to be very helpful at keeping me on track and accountable which is useful when you are working for your self (www.plannerpad.com). However you need to use a system that will work for you.

 

Once you have settled on your system you then need to have some diary management techniques that you can use to gain back some time.

 

1. Allow extra time either side of meetings to allow you to move from one meeting to the next and to allow you to arrive on time at all appointments

 

2. Schedule meetings with yourself – particularly if you need to get a task completed by a specific deadline. This is helpful with online diary systems that others can access as they will be able to see you are busy.

 

3. Plan your week in advance. This will save you having to think about what you are doing each day as you will have already mapped it out. I would suggest you do this as your last task on a Friday and then you can start the following week fully prepared to hit the ground running.

 

Once you get into a habit of using your diary system more effectively you will wonder how you ever managed without it.

 

So here’s to having time on your side for a change

Calm Living

I am always taken aback by just how much most of us – particularly in the western world – seem to be living for tomorrow rather than today.

 

It is almost as though we have written-off today and that tomorrow will always be better. Now I am not saying that tomorrow won’t be better or that thinking positively is a bad thing, but if we just took time to appreciate what we have today then tomorrow will take care of itself.

 

I have as short saying/ poem on my office wall which states:

 

Yesterday is HISTORY

Tomorrow is a MYSTERY

Today is a GIFT

That’s why we call it The PRESENT

 

It acts as a constant reminder to me not to forget all the good things I have in my life right now, right this minute and to be truly grateful for all of them.

 

So remembering to live in the here and now is always a good thing, but what else might you consider doing to bring a sense of CALM into your day?

 

I have a number of tools that I use for getting me to tune into myself and refocus on what I am doing.

 

1 – Deep Breathing, also know as the “Haa” Breathing technique

 

Take a long slow deep breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, hold it for 2 seconds and then release it by breathing out through your mouth and making a “Haa” sound. Repeat this 3 times.

 

This not only gets you to focus on just one thing (your breathing) but gives more oxygen to the body and the brain. The result is that you feel instantly calmer and more focussed and less anxious than you did before.

 

You can repeat this as and when you need to throughout the day and no-one will really know that you are doing anything except they will find a calmer more centred you.

 

2 – Visualisation

 

The brain cannot differentiate between a real or an imagined event. Therefore using the power of visualisation means that you can take your mind on a short “vacation” of 2 or 3 minutes to a time or place where you felt really calm and relaxed.

 

All the good feelings you had when you were in that moment in time will come flooding back to you and you will regain an instant calmness about you.

 

I know that some of you are thinking that you are not very visual, but I would challenge you to close your eyes and think of your front door, really picture it in your minds eye – the colour, what it is made of, the shape/colour of any glass it may have, where the handle is situated, where the letterbox is situated etc.  I am sure you have a very clear picture of your front door right now – that is visualisation and we are all much better at it than we think we are.

 

3 – Meditation

 

This needn’t be a long meditation; it can be only a few minutes in duration but will be totally transformational.

 

Take yourself off to somewhere you know won’t be disturbed for 5 minutes, or just somewhere where sitting with your eyes closed won’t seem untoward.

 

When you have closed your eyes, take 3 deep breaths – in and out through the nose or using the Haa technique. When you are in a calm place in your mind, empty your mind of all your thoughts and imagine a white light radiating around you. This is your safety blanket. Keep yourself in this safe, calm and relaxed place for a few minutes. 

 

When you are ready take 3 more deep breaths and open your eyes. The process of emptying your mind of all those busy thoughts just for a few minutes is extremely calming and uplifting.

 

 

4 – Journaling

 

I am a strong advocate of journaling wherever I am. I always have a small notebook so that I can dump my brain onto paper and thus release any tension or negative feelings that I might be having.

 

I can be found journaling on the bus, on the train, but particularly just before I go to bed. I find that by “parking” all of those thoughts until morning allows me to get a better night’s sleep.

 

You can use any piece or paper or notebook you have to hand, but to make it more emphatic and more meaningful you could buy a special notebook just for your journal entries.

 

I hope that you find some or all of the calming techniques that I use helpful to you and even if you are a bit sceptical about them, give them a go and see what happens.

 

 

Maureen

Introducing The Calm Coach

I suspect some of you may have been wondering where I have been for the past few weeks?

 

Well, I have been busily working on setting up my new website and getting ready for the launch of my new name – The Calm Coach

 

The Breathing Space is still my original company name but I will now be working under the title of The Calm Coach

 

So what is different about The Calm Coach:

 

Essentially The Calm Coach will be your one-stop shop for reducing overwhelm, stress and chaos from your life and bringing back that sense of calm and a greater level of control.

 

The types of questions or issues that I will be looking to help you with are:

 

• I have too much going on – how do I simplify my day?

 

• I am lacking in energy – how can I get back my zest for life?

 

• My diary is over-flowing – how do I find time for me?

 

• I don’t have time for a healthy diet – can you help?

 

• I don’t have any space to call my own – how do I create my own oasis of calm?

 

These are just a few examples but essentially I am here to help you work through anything that is causing you chaos or overwhelm.

 

How to find me:

 

The address for my new website is www.thecalmcoach.com – however, if you still have The Breathing Space URL in your favourites then this will automatically redirect you to the new site.

 

Also, my new email address is maureen@thecalmcoach.com but if you send a message to maureen@the-breathing-space.com address I will still receive this as it will be automatically forwarded to me.

 

So hopefully you will still be able to find me no matter which email or website address you have.

  

My question to you today is:

 

“What is causing your greatest chaos/ overwhelm or stress at the moment?”

 

I would love to hear from you.  I will then write back to you individually and also write a blog post about the topic so that others can benefit as well.

 

Looking forward to hearing from you

 

 

Maureen

Detoxing - Not just for Mind and Body!

 

Hi Folks,

 

I guess some of you might have been wondering where I have been and why I wasn’t blogging.

 

It’s a bit of a saga but safe to say I am back now and ready for ACTION!

 

With ACTION in mind, I decided that my office was long over due a tidy up so this afternoon I have Detoxed my office and I feel a whole lot better – and calmer too.

 

So, with this is in mind, I thought I would reprint an article I wrote last October on the subject of Detoxing space, which I hope you find helpful, particularly given Spring is the season for cleaning and tidying things up!

 

_______________________

 

Personal Space takes many forms including the physical space around you but more often it takes the format of your living or working space, and just like your body, your living and working space will benefit from a regular detox.

 

When your living and working space is set up correctly, it can be the key element to lot of things. For example, it can make you:

-                      feel safe

-                      feel comfortable

-                      be more productive

-                      be yourself

 

However, as much as you are rightly very proud and possessive of your personal space, if it not supporting you in the way you want it to then it can have a hugely detrimental affect on your life, health and well-being.

 

Key questions to ask yourself are:

 

-                      On a scale of 1 – 10 how important is this space to me?

-                      What do I want from this space?

-                      Does the space currently support my needs?

-                      If I change nothing how will I feel about the space?

-                      What do I need to change – a little, a lot or total revamp?

-                      How much time will I be spending in this space?

-                      How much money – if any – do I have or want to spend on this space

-                      Do I need the space to be cosy, comfortable, minimalist, tidy, or ??

-                      When do I want these changes to take place? (be specific)

-                      Do I have the resources to make the changes?

-                      If not, how can I get the resources?

-                      What will I do to celebrate when I have the space just how I want it?

 

The key task set by my own coach this week was around the topic of office space and if it was supporting my business.

 

I have been using my new office for about 3 months now, and I am very proud of my very own space. However, I am ashamed to say that currently, whilst I love my office, it is not supporting the calm ethos of my business.

 

So, I have committed to Detoxing my office tomorrow, Tuesday 21^st October 2008. Thankfully my office is not huge, but this makes it all the more important to make sure that it does support me and my business at all times.

 

Most of what I have to do is just a matter of de-cluttering, filing, and basically dumping the junk. However, I do have a habit of hoarding things that “might come in useful one day”, so I am going to have to be quite strict with myself about only keeping those things that I absolutely need or that make me feel good.

 

My command task to you this week is this:

 

Do you have a room or space (work or at home) that needs a Detox? If so, then start by asking yourself the questions above and see how much better you feel once you have been through the process.

 

I would love to know how you get on with the challenge – so do let me know.

 

Until next time

 

Think positive and keep breathing!

 

 

Maureen